


somebody you love(d)

by winterants



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Rivals to Lovers, Still cant tag, before he finally gave in, no beta once more we wing this for fun, tsundere sakusa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24266740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterants/pseuds/winterants
Summary: What would be the repercussions if I let you inside me?aka Sakusa's side story to the chaos which is no better than strangers
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 10
Kudos: 80





	somebody you love(d)

**Author's Note:**

> do i hate myself? yes  
> did i actually enjoy writing this?? definitely  
> the concept of pisces sakusa being what i usually describe as a bitch is very fun to write because i have a close reference for a chaotic pisces bitch in my life.  
> also inarizaki's omoi de nanka iran still haunts me like that moto is good man. (obvious misabuse but WHO CARES)

When Sakusa joined the Black Jackals, he didn’t expect to see _too_ many familiar faces.

But then again, he would rather have more familiar faces on his team than being on the same team as Ushijima, so all is fair in his venture into having a professional volleyball career.

Although he finds it ironic enough that he’s now in the same team with Bokuto, of all people.

Surely enough, being in the same team as three hyperactive human beings is something that brings exhaustion towards Sakusa. All three of them have some weird, unique antiques of their own, but he guesses that it’s those little tidbits that make the team much, much livelier. (Besides, they had to grow accustomed to his hygienic habits- so he has no right to judge them too harshly.)

Time passed since he joined the team, and he has become immune to the weird customs that he has to face on a daily basis.

The only thing he hasn’t grown used to yet is Bokuto’s impulsive flirting.

Sakusa had asked the tiny one of their team about Bokuto’s history. If he had remembered correctly throughout all their matches, Bokuto had always been really close to their setter, although Sakusa couldn’t care any more than that to remember his name.

Hinata said that they weren’t dating, that was as much as he remembered before going to Brazil. Sakusa scoffed at his words. He wasn’t dense enough to not see how the setter had always looked at Bokuto despite the minimum amount of contact they had back at the tournament. Those eyes that always yearned to be closer to him, he expected that the ‘mother-hen’ agenda was also another excuse for him to always be beside him 24/7 throughout their school years.

Hinata added that before Bokuto joined the team officially, he still kept contact with Akaashi- that was the setter’s name- frequently. But from what he heard from one of his friends, just as much Bokuto had ghosted them, even the dear Akaashi had fallen victim to their pro-volleyball player’s intense training schedules.

Now, _this_ information spiked some interest within Sakusa.

So, it made him wondered. Was Bokuto flirting with him just for fun, or was it because deep inside the latter, he had started feeling the emptiness from the disappearance of his dearest junior?

He had rejected the first few attempts of Bokuto’s obnoxious flirting when it started. Sakusa wondered if the older one had actually forgotten that once upon a time, he was the one who said he would crush Sakusa in a tournament one fine day? Do rivals actually forget these kinds of things once they become teammates? His mind then went to his acquaintance status with Atsumu- nope, their relationship with each other remained just like back from the National Youth Camp, or it may have improved a bit. Maybe. (although nowadays Atsumu has found more ways to mess with Sakusa’s temper- much to his dismay)

But of course, he couldn’t run away from those attempts forever. Bokuto is Bokuto after all- while he was no longer the childish ace who needed to be cheered up by his own team to be at his optimum performance level, he is still the bright beam of white light that could lit up anyone’s gloomy day. Sakusa can feel himself slowly falling down the traps the former Fukurodani ace had set up for him.

He did not like it one bit.

And to make things much, much, much worse, Sakusa also realized that the time that both of them are spending together is pushing them to improve themselves in a more positive direction. Sure, Sakusa is in it to win and beat Ushijima after losing to him a few times prior to him joining the Jackals, but watching how his former rival claims that the way he plays is inspiring him to become an even better player is driving Sakusa to the brink of insanity.

Because deep inside, Sakusa too wants to improve because of him.

 _‘Don’t go deeper than this.’_ He constantly warns himself. _‘He’s like a poison, he’s probably waiting for the perfect time to hit you at your worst and finish you off.’_ It became like a mantra for him to recite every once in a while when he feels like he’s on the clouds.

Every day Sakusa’s mind is constantly filled with the thoughts of Bokuto. The meaning of his flirts, the way his face changes every time they manage to score a point when they work together, the thoughts of how Bokuto would treat him if he had ever decided to reply to his flirts back.

Oh my god, Bokuto Koutaro is going to be the death of him.

——————————————————

“Omi-kun,” Atsumu called out to him one day. “We really need to talk about you and Bokuto.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Sakusa pretended to be dumb, although the setter could see right through his act. “Don’t you act dumb with me, the tension between the two of you is really getting on my nerve.” Sakusa rolled his eyes at Atsumu’s comment. “What goes on between me and that guy is none of your business, Miya. Now go away.”

“Sadly, Omi-kun, as of now, it is kind of my business. Do you think I want to toss for two guys who are obviously on each other’s edges because one of them is dumb enough to continue playing with the other’s heart? If you guys go on like this, then I hope you don’t expect me to toss you as much as I would want to during matches.”

“What does this have to do with our matches?” Sakusa continued the dumb act, although one way or another, he actually knew what the setter was trying to say. Even the others had pointed it out lately- how both Sakusa and Bokuto were passive-aggressively flirting with each other. There were even others who had commented on how the vibe that it gives out felt very frustrating that it was distracting others as much as it was distracting Sakusa himself.

The smug-ish look on Miya Atsumu’s face obviously showed that he knows Sakusa has been on a denial role since day 1.

“Okay then. Let me ask you this.” The ace turned towards his setter, a bit too hasty for his own liking. “You knew that Kageyama used to date our little dude there. Didn’t it feel weird for you? I mean- you knew they were together up until Hinata left for Brazil. What gave you the push to steal him from Kageyama’s hands?” 

“Oh,” The question managed to catch Atsumu off guard. Out of all the possible questions, there are in the world, Atsumu had never expected Sakusa to ask that question. “Well, I always knew that if Hinata were to always be by Kageyama’s side, he wouldn’t be able to unleash his full potential. You remembered what I said about Kageyama all this time right? He’s too much of a goody-two-shoes to bring out the best of Shouyo. Him being in Adlers is pretty much the perfect choice for him since you know- he has Ushijima and Hoshiumi too with him. The goody-two-shoes type of people.” Atsumu felt satisfied at the slight annoyance Sakusa showed at the mention of Ushijima.

“But more than that, you don’t actually have to ponder much when it comes to stealing someone from other’s hands.” The smirk that was plastered on Atsumu’s face was definitely not giving Sakusa the comfort that he actually needed. “I just follow my high school’s motto during our matches. People may think the words are only useful during matches, but I find it a good life motto if you ask me.”

**_“We don’t need things like memories.”_ ** ****

——————————————————

_“We don’t need things like memories.”_

Atsumu’s reasoning is quite stupid, but in some way, it is actually the most logical reasoning he had heard when concerning his current issue. Had the former Fukurodani ace treasured the memories he has we his adored setter- even among the hectic schedule that the Jackals always had to go through, he would have been able to make time to go and meet the said person- if he had wanted too.

Yet he didn’t. Which made Sakusa balanced his next two options carefully.

He could try to flirt back. That was a mad move indeed, but Sakusa was curious about how Bokuto would react once he did. (It was one of the most frequent things he had been thinking of as of lately- but he would rather die than tell Atsumu that information.)

He could ignore Bokuto or properly reject him. This was also a risky move because it would affect the team’s dynamic incredibly. Atsumu’s words haunted him, warning him that the second he screws this up- there’ll be no turning back for the both of them. He’ll probably get bench more if he were to become the reason that Bokuto couldn’t play at his maximum potential.

And so after considering much of the pros and cons, Sakusa decided to play with the fire that was right in front of him.

It was a choice that Sakusa had regretted, but at the same time, he was deeply enjoying it.

The sacred touches when their hands suddenly fluttered by each other were like a fire burning to his skins. The burns were invisible, but Sakusa could feel the pain linger even longer as their touches became more frequent. And he started to crave for it even more.

Oh, giving in to temptation was actually the best choice he had done in a while.

The energy that the two of them emitted had changed drastically. Atsumu didn’t give another comment after the two became more obvious at their little game, because both of them were actually in their top forms ever since. Bokuto’s spikes became, even more, stronger than before, while Sakusa’s serves became the fear of their opponents when it was his time to serve.

As long as it didn’t mess up with the team’s dynamic, he didn’t mind. Although the pent-up tension between the two of them was frustrating their setter a bit. But he thinks that he had done enough nudging for the time being.

——————————————————

Things became even more dangerous the night the team decided to get around having drinks together. It was rare for athletes to go drinking, so Sakusa wondered if this drinking session is going to end in a rough note for all of them. They went to an exclusive bar as they went immediately towards the VIP seat. Don’t assume that volleyball players don’t get as much attention as idols, one foul move from them and they could put their whole career on the line.

It was nice to wind down once in a while after an intense season- Sakusa had always enjoyed the feeling after they ended another glorious season together. After shouting out their cheers, they dwelled into the alcohol as they somehow reminisce some of their old memories from the start of their volleyball careers, which is obviously from high school. Most of them spilled out some interesting stories- minus Atsumu, who is obviously holding on to the motto of Inarizaki High a bit more than he should.

_We don’t need things like memories._

Does that mean that if the day comes when he and Hinata part ways- or even worse- Hinata suddenly finds his way back to Kageyama, would Atsumu force himself to forget all the sweet memories they had together? Sakusa bit his lips underneath his signature mask. Isn’t that a bit too much for a decent human being? He dwelled into his own train of thoughts as he too refused to share anything from his own past, letting the voices drown in his own thinking.

That is until Bokuto mentioned about Fukurodani.

By then, Bokuto was obviously drunk. But he went on to ramble about his team, stating that he was thankful for spending his high school years with Fukurodani. Sakusa could felt a slight pain at his chest when Bokuto had mentioned the name of a certain setter. The way his eyes softened even at the mention of Akaashi made Sakusa’s annoyance towards the former setter increased.

Was that jealousy he felt? Was he really jealous of one guy who Bokuto doesn’t even keep in contact with anymore?

Bokuto ended up being too drunk to walk home by himself, leading a certain setter to nudge Sakusa to accompany him home. And like he was casted by some magical spell, Sakusa didn’t fight back and offered to bring the older one home. He called a cab and bid farewell towards the others as they both entered the back seat of the cab.

The older man was completely knocked out, his head suddenly landed on Sakusa’s shoulder while he rambled more incoherent things that Sakusa couldn’t interpret. He didn’t need to force himself to listen closer anyway, as Akaashi’s name left Bokuto’s lips again.

“I miss Akaashi. Wonder if he’s doing well…”

“I feel bad for not calling him now….”

“I think he has someone else now..”

“I feel so alone…”

Sakusa’s heart ached slightly upon hearing Bokuto’s words. Then was he just a distraction for Bokuto? Did his heart still yearn for his junior who he has no idea where his current whereabouts are? He should be furious, pissed off even because to Bokuto, Sakusa was probably just a rebound while his heart still belonged to another person.

The thought of that sparked something within Sakusa.

He hated losing to anyone, be it volleyball or some trivial things like this.

He will steal Bokuto, showering him with all the stars that he could pick up if it means the name Akaashi would disappear forever from his memories.

_We don’t need things like memories._

Sakusa opened his heart to let Bokuto in, and he swore that he’ll keep him inside there for as long as he could.

——————————————————

Their flirting sessions became more aggressive. Every touch became more intimate, leaving more unseen burns on Sakusa’s body. He can no longer run away from Bokuto, he craved for more from him. It was slowly getting dangerous, his mind sending him warning signals as they knew that the moment they stepped over the boundary line, there would be no turning back for both of them.

And then it happened.

It was supposed to be a one-night stand, but Bokuto had slipped off the very words that Sakusa didn’t expect to hear that fast.

“I love you, Sakusa.”

Sakusa, not Akaashi.

Bokuto called _his_ name- not that setter from his old memories. The hickeys that remained on his body were clear reminders for him that Bokuto actually loves him.

He’s not a rebound. He’s not Bokuto’s personal rebound. Bokuto said he loved him. Sakusa Kiyoomi. Not Akaashi. Sakusa smiled to himself as he watched his partner asleep peacefully. His mind returned to last night’s passionate activity, recalling how much his body had burned under Bokuto’s touches. The moment when their lips were sealed, Sakusa remembered how he used to refer Bokuto as a dangerous poison.

But if the poison tasted as sweet as honey, then he wouldn’t mind taking an overdose of this very poison at all.

Oh my god, he is whipped for Bokuto Koutaro.

Bokuto woke up from his deep slumber and Sakusa swore to god that the look on his face was as pure as the angels in the sky. It made him wondered on how the Black Jackals color was like a paint that tainted the angelic white light that emitted from Bokuto. But then again, it was this tainted Bokuto that is finally his, as the pure white angel he used to be had belonged to another person.

And the said angel was long gone, his wings turned dark from Sakusa’s touch.

“Hey, Bokuto.” He called out to him softly, nuzzling his neck as he admired his own artwork from last night.

“I love you too.” He said the words back, Bokuto's smile became brighter before he pulled Sakusa into another kiss. 

Maybe Atsumu was right, we don’t need things like memories- maybe all we need is cherishing the present.

——————————————————

When Sakusa thought he could finally rest with ease knowing that his love was not one-sided, Akaashi had made his counter-attack in the most unexpected way.

The final voice message that came later in the day when they had a match with the Adlers was something both of them did not expect. When Bokuto told Sakusa that he had a sudden change of plans, Sakusa’s heartbeat accelerated immediately, realizing that there is only one thing that could change his angel’s heart.

No, he had worked hard to ensure that Bokuto was finally his, he won’t go down without a fight.

Sakusa eventually returned to their shared room, hearing the soft sobs coming from Bokuto’s side of the bed as he realized he had screwed up big time. Maybe Sakusa could never understand what it feels like losing a precious bond with someone, but his heart ached upon hearing the wails grow louder and louder.

When Bokuto had finally slept, calming down from his agony- Sakusa took his phone and searched for Akaashi’s phone number. Sendai to Tokyo was no easy trip- even if you were to ride the bullet train, it was impossible for Akaashi to change his number in a matter of hours.

So he sent a quick message to Akaashi, asking him to meet up in 2 days' time back in Tokyo.

Akaashi only replied with one word.

Meeting the former love of your own lover should be on top of the things that you shouldn’t do, but Sakusa wasn’t usually the type to care anyway.

They met in a quiet cafe somewhere in Roppongi, it was close to Akaashi’s office and Sakusa had spent the time walking there preparing a proper speech. He may have a blurred image of how the former setter looked like, but the second he stepped into the cafe, he now knows why Bokuto’s emotions towards the editor lasted for a long time.

Akaashi is beautiful, despite having the ‘tired of their mangaka's shit’ face plastered all over. He screamed beautiful from every single angle, from his pose to the way his face smiled sinisterly at him. It was no mystery that this guy had managed to haunt Bokuto for years. 

The pride in Sakusa swelled more knowing that he had won Bokuto’s heart over this guy.

“So, you’re Akaashi, huh?” He sat opposite of the editor, stopping their conversation for a while as the waitress took their orders. Akaashi gave a small nod, a smile curving upwards before it was his turn to reply. “I’m surprised Bokuto-san isn’t with you today. I expected that he would pull something like this just to talk to me.”

“Drop the formal act.” He scoffed, annoyed at how Akaashi still carries himself with pride and formality despite being the loser in this situation. “You broke him for the past few nights. He was up crying until 3 am. And you expected him to see you this soon?”

“Sure, I did make him cry. But he broke my heart countless times since he joined the Jackals.” _‘Or to be more exact, ever since you came into the picture.’_ Sakusa knew that was what he had wanted to say.

Oh, if only he was there the night Bokuto had gotten severely drunk. Had he heard those words, would they reconcile? The thought of that made Sakusa felt slightly insecure. But then again, he didn’t need to know that. Bokuto was his now, and only his. It was too late. 

“You should have fought harder.”

“Are you just here to rub it in my face that you won the fight, Sakusa-san?” The venomous tone that Akaashi was using surprised Sakusa for a moment. Hinata said that Akaashi is always a polite person, no matter how bad one tries to piss him off. Guess he had pushed the latter to their own breaking point.

“Maybe? But actually, I wanted to say thank you too. Had you not be the mother-hen you were who constantly protected Bokuto, I wouldn’t be there to witness him slowly growing into becoming a more wonderful person.”

“Bokuto-san has always been a star material. I didn’t do much in my end.”

“Nah, you did a lot. Really.”

“If that’s your attempt to comfort me, then I would really appreciate if you stopped that. I realized that the way he looks at you and the way he looks at me is different. To him, I’m just the junior he wants to be pampered by. While you..” Akaashi took another sip from his drink before continuing.

“While you, you’re the one who’s bringing him to the higher stars. And that’s something I can never do, no matter how much support I can pour from afar. It’s impossible for me. I’m just a roadblock in the middle of his dream.”

Sakusa’s heart had felt a bit uneasy at the hearing Akaashi’s words. Are literature majors really this good with words?

“I just want to say thank you too, on my behalf. For being there for Bokuto-san. My time with him is long over. Just make sure he never cries because of you now, okay?” Akaashi stood up from the table, picking up his jacket and bag. “I would love to stay longer, but I have a meeting soon. And I’m pretty sure the mangaka I need to meet is still currently stuck at home. Don’t worry about the drinks, I’ll pay for it.”

It was supposed to be Sakusa’s victory, but why did he feel like _he_ had lost something despite being the clear winner? Was it Akaashi's way of saving grace. 

“Oh, also.” He stopped before he left. “That’s a nasty hickey there. Normal people would think that must be a bruise from falling off the court or something along those lines, but as someone who used to play volleyball, that’s obviously a hickey. Careful Sakusa-san, the press here are nasty.” Sakusa smirked when he saw how the editor's face had darkened at the mention of the hickey.

There it is. His precious, sweet smell of victory.

Akaashi calmed himself down, the painful expression turning back to his former expressionless self as he walked towards the door, turning back for one last time to properly congratulate him before bidding him farewell. 

“Congrats on getting the grand prize, Sakusa-san.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are once again very very appreciated! also come scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/hatsukoidoa) if you want a speedy reply,,, i assure you i'm always online


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